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Bachelor party!?

Okay, I know everyone has different opinions about everything so I was still just wanting to vent and hear your stories.Well I am engaged but first, I will talk about my Fiances brother. His brother is 26 year old father of 2, in a relationship with a 28 yr old and they have been together like 9.5 years. My fiance calls me up today and was like guess what about my brothers wedding your probably going to be mad? I thought he was saying that they canceled it again/changed something because im a bridesmaid and I bought all my stuff already. Anyways he says so and so wants to get my brother a stripper for the bus they want to rent and ride around. This guy has a gf and just got out of jail and I guess the groom and him are close but they both are man wh*res. My fiance is the best man and says he doesnt want to be a part of this but he has to go its his brothers thing. I just know how nasty some of these guys are so it just bothers me to think about what will go on. I even heard the groom say before he wanted to sleep with another girl before he got married! I wouldnt be suprised if he wanted an escort. Anyways this bothers me because when I first met my guy like almost 6 years ago, he was with his brother and his brother stopped at a strip club. His brother took the keys and it was winter time so my guy said he didnt want to stand outside. I cant believe a club would let my fiance in at the time he was like 16! I remember talking to him on the phone that night and he said he was just at a club and he would take me when I was older. The next time I saw him he came out and told me because I think I brought it up. He said some stripper came right up to him he was in the back and shook her boobs right in his face! I think his brother told her to. That has always bothered me and now his brothers Bachelor party is coming up in a few months. The Bride said "I dont care if some nasty girl shakes her stuff in front of him he comes home to me, but if there's escorts the wedding is off". I think there both bad.Idk what she meant but she said thats the way you make all the money. I just think its gross and I wonder what the guys would do if she got a male stripper? I honestly wouldnt take part in it. Some people say its all about trust but, to me its about RESPECT!!! Your man should want you and not be staring etc. at some other chick (worse that there paying her) Why would it be okay for a man or women etc. to be in a room with a naked person of the opposite sex dancing all over but if it were any other day with any other girl it would be cheating? I am secure with myself, I think im attracive, but that has nothing to do with it to me as I said it is so disrespectful.Like for my FH bachelor party, he said that he is telling everyone he doesnt want strippers. Of course I am happy about that but I want it to be because he doesnt want them not because I dont want him to. He says he doesnt. Idk my fiance thought he could just step out when the stripper came for his brothers party, but now there going on a bus. I feel stuck bc I feel strongly about my morals/beliefs and am afraid that I might not be able to accept it afterwards. I love my fiance but hate this situation.

4 Comments

Oh dear, this is really causing you major stress! The situation is not within your control, you can only make your opinions and requests known and hope that your fiance respects your wishes. Of course we don't want to see a friend marry someone who disrespects her, but the bride may not feel the same as you about it - have you spoken to her about it?

I'm getting married in a few months and although I would prefer the bachelor party to not consist of strippers, it might happen and I can do nothing more than make sure that both my fiance and the best man know how I feel about it. I realized that I would be wasting my energy stressing over what I truly cannot control.

Every bride has a laundry list of things to worry about. Try to let it go once you've done what you can to make your strong opinions heard. And - go for a massage to get those stress knots out!

Unfortunately I don't really see a way around this IF it's on the bus. Short of telling your guy to skip his brother's bachelor party which would be much more disrespectful! I understand why you don't agree with it and that it makes you feel uncomfortable, but it sounds like your fiance doesn't care for it either. I think you may just need to put your feelings aside and remember that this day is about your fiance's brother.

Or if your fiance is the best man and the one coordinating the bachelor party can't he arrange to have the stripper come to the house, that way he can step outside, or walk away or something.

I appreciate your opinion and I feel secure but I just dont see it that way. I feel like it is disrespectful and why would you have to go stare etc. at the stripper if you have someone you truly love. I know I dont want to look at any male stripper, hopefully there will not be one at hers. Im just wondering how we can we make this work for the both of us? If it was at the house he could possibly step out but now if its on a bus idk? I dont want to have to put my beliefs aside and I understand hes his brothers best man, but there has to be a way? Any suggestions/stories?

My first thing would say is if you are secure in your relationship then it really shouldn't matter. I know everyone may not agree but it is just something that comes along with bachlor parties. Also just remeber if you guy was honest with you and even told you they would be there I really wouldn't worry about what he was going to do. Also just remember you are marrying a great guy and she is getting the dog.