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adult only wedding?

I remember some of my relatives having adult or at least older children weddings and being mad. Now that im older I now understand why some people choose to go that route. My fiance and I started on the rough guestlist and it comes out to like 143 with no children! It is expensive so, is it rude to have an adult only wedding and how do you go about telling people this? Also, will people get offende dif only a few children that are in the wedding are there for the ceremony and reception? (some from out of town). Thank you!

8 Comments

Hey, that's the greetast! So with ll this brain power AWHFY?

There are two issues here: whom do you invite, and how do you invite them. If you intend to exclude family members' children, shame on you. Weddings are family/community events. If venue and other considerations mean that you generally don't want children (or unknown "dates" of guests) there, then I suppose you could fail to invite them.

Making a point of excluding people ("people" does in fact include humans under the age of 18) is extremely rude on an invitation (by specifying "adult only"). And yes, there will always be guests who will call up and ask permission to bring a date, or a child, anyway. You just have to suck it up and be a gracious hostess (the proper answer is "of course you may").

Frankly, the first thing you should do is construct your guest list, based on family and friends. Then get the venue. If you can't afford the wedding of your "dreams" based on your guest list, sorry, but you're going to have to cut back on the costs-a less expensive dress, menu, etc. People come first.

On the bottom of the invitations, I put "Adult Reception." That, in addition to not adding the kids names on the envelope is enough to tell them not to bring their kids. I know there are out-of-towners that will be coming and will bring their kids to B'lo for a vacation... so I am going to send them a separate letter saying that I have babysitters available (personal friends of my little sister) who are willing to come to their hotel room and babysit during the church and reception. That is more than sufficient... in my opinion. There is no need for a screaming child to ruin my wedding!! I'm sure there are going to be enough roadbumps on the day-of as it is!

I made the same decision. Some guests were disappointed I didn't invite their kids, but when I explained why they got it. It is a really long night for a kid - and really not fun for them. Instead, I am allowing them to attend the wedding at the church and then offered to help them find a sitter. I do have a couple of relatives who have chosen not to attend because they don't want to leave their kids with a sitter. That was their choice. Althought I was sorry that was their choice. I have other friends who were glad their kids weren't invited because they want a night out. You really can't win, so I think you need to make the choice that is best for you and your husband-to-be....

Me and my fiance have been arguing about this for a while now. I wanted to put "adult reception" on the invites, but he said that people will get hurt; which i think is bullshit. esp. if it's an open bar it's no place for kids to be running around and I don't want to have to worry about screaming, crabby kids!! ugh. my fiance's one sister has about 5 foster kids, and they are all out of control! Im sorry but find a sitter, she knew about this wedding 2 years ago... my nieces and nephews are going to be in the wedding so they are allowed to be at the reception, plus they know how not to act out! phew! that felt good to get it off my chest! good luck!

An adult reception, especially an evening one, is the norm. Set an age limit and STICK TO IT!
You simply cannot spend $75+ on everyone else's kid.
Anyone who doesn't understand this is ignorant or just wants a free meal. Some weddings allow the children in the
wedding party to come to the reception and eat, and maybe stay for the first guest dance (after the dancing with parents). Then, someone can pick them up and take them home, or to a local hotel room. Having children
who are bored and sleepy at a party - especially one where alcohol is available is just foolish. Sara is right,
address the outside envelope to Mr. & Mrs. Smith and family, address the INSIDE envelope to:

John and Mary Smith
John, Jr.
Jane

if the twins Jack and Jill are underage, Leave their names off!

On the invitation or reception card, use the phrase "Adult Reception".
If you have a wedding website
use it to inform people of your decision. . .
"Since our wedding reception is an adult party, and due to limited
space and cost, we are only able to invite our friends and family 16 ang older.
Only children who are in the wedding party will be attending, we hope you understand."
I've actually heard of situations where people invite kids 16 and up, and the parents call and want to know if
the 16 yr. old can bring a date! Just stick to your guns, be polite, but firm. If anyone says anything, just
tell them how much you would be charged for the extra people, 6 nieces + 2 nephews + 2 godchildren +
8 friends kids= 18 kids X $75 =$1,350! You could spend an extra week in the Bahamas with that money!

At least I think so! I am having an adult only wedding/reception!

I think Adult Only is perfectly normal. Things are SO expensive now a days, you can't help but keep it to adults. My fiance' and i ran into the same thing. We both have very large familes and you have to draw the line somewhere. Of course there will be people who might get anry because they can not bring their kids but think about it this way - they will get over it, if not, then they do not care about you and your fiance' enough to respect and understand your decision. When addressing invitations, make sure you address it to exactly who you are inviting. If you are inviting the entire family, you would address "Mr & Mrs. Smith and Family" if children are invited. If you are only inviting the adults, you would address invites to "Mr. & Mrs Smith".